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About Literature / Hobbyist XxRainXCallxXUnited States Recent Activity
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My Journal is not safe.

My journal is not some comforting paradise

for me or my thoughts.

It does not harbor my secret feelings

in hopes that maybe they can be

romantically frozen in time,

so that someday, "when I'm better"

I can handle them productivly

in the way of other functioning human beings,


My journal is the bloodies,

most destructive plane

on the battefield of my own personal



It is my front line;

my perpetual rows of soldiers that I command to

die for me

without the slightest flicker of


My edge is to live,

murdering until I can prove

that it's not just the words that bleed.

My journal is special in the goryiest way,

scratching down my pain almost as efficiatly as my blade;


It's the most violently beautiful thing, if you're looking at the outside.

The ugliness inside chokes on no particular story,

just the sickness of the emotion on every page.

It's full of ghosts, and crawling with regrets that, much like me,

only look out for themselves.

The soldiers long fallen are not to be pittied,

and would sooner come back to life

and bite off your head.

My journal is dangerous;

a weapon in my hands, that

could either make me,

or bring me to my knees.

It's all in my power to keep myself from bleeding

unless it's my blood that's being written on the page.

My portable battle,


breaking in my place

and letting every broken soldier

being made to

wear my face.

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So many nights turn out this way.


I don't live here,

I'm a guest

and uneasiness is my mistress,

when I'm not fucking regret,

that is.

Though I know I don't have to think

to know I don't


either of them to any particular


Nostalgic, the past to which

I've so stupidly tethered myself

I miss it though.


I haven't changed; much.

I still can't relate to her.

Country McHorsegirl.

Was that rude?

Her name is Hannah.

Her nature eludes me now,

almost as much as her love for

rippling country men.

But maybe it's not okay to say that now.


I don't live here,

on the corner of apathy and just past

"I hate myself"

I'm a freeloader, though.

I'm really just getting what I wanted.

My script is all that's left of who I am;

was,  and it's turning yellow.

At least it's not orange, right?



Are you dizzy yet?


I'm not a writer anymore.

I don't live here,

but it was bound to

come about,

This is not where I thought I would be.


I don't belong here though.

It's farther than I've been.

I fought,

really hard.


I'm still fighting,

and what have I gained?


Drifting apart is a funny thing; a lie.

It cleverly implies that something is happening


It doesn't.

And all at once, I was alone;

what I'd always assumed myself

to be,

except this time

it was real, and I

wasn't even a memory.

And if I was, not a good one.

Nothing, in the eyes of my nightmares; a stain.

I gave up a lot of things

for peace,

and I have to say

It wasn't worth it.

I am nothing without my



I can ask my friends until I


"Am I a good person?"

and all of them

will lie.

For a simple lack of objectivity.

But what friends?

Who would I ask now?

I have lost everything in the war

to save what; my body?

How empty a cause it seems now.

For what?

This end?

The best medicine only could have been

to let everything within me

So yeah it's been a while. I've been working through my life and editing some longer stories so I haven't been active in a long ass time, but I'm back. I don't draw so much now as I've kinda moved more towards photography and writing. I know how spastic my uploads are, so for the people who still watch me I'm sorry for that, but appreciate that you're still with me. I'll be trying to get active again what with college and life never slowing down, I'll work on my consistency. <3




Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I love wolves and Music. I Don't Draw a whole lot and it's all mostly for my writing. so yeah I'm more a writer than anything.

Current Residence: Minnasota
Favourite genre of music: Mostly anything
Favourite style of art: Anime, Manga, Realistic
MP3 player of choice: Ipod classic
Favourite cartoon character: Mugen (Samurai Champloo), Hiccup and toothless, Huey, Max Goof, Jim Hawkins, Gamzee, Karkat,

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Add a Comment:
jessicaalvarez Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2015
Hey :) check out my pics and let me know what u think :*
Inspector-Spinda Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome back! Sorry i haven't been keeping up with your comic. I've been busy with applying for college and stuff as well as doing my own comic. I'll try to do more if i can, but if you really want more done probably best to get another person

Good luck with life,
formerly Crimson-Oath
XxRainXCallxX Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you ^^ it's alright I've been really busy editing the story so what you've done is very much appreciated but you should definitely focus on your own comic because my storyline has changed so much it's like a different story :3 I appreciate your work on it and thank you again!

All the best,

XxWeThePeoplexX Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the Watch

-Elie Rynn
Asansa Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014
Thanks! by FlamingSeme
XxRainXCallxX Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
And thank you for that image xD <3
Ne-Cola Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch and sry late greeting XD
XxRainXCallxX Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
lol No problem ^^ I love your style
Kumata Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2013  Hobbyist
I finished your request [link] :)
jemgirl Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the new fave vote. You got to chapter 2.

You read slower than I do. :D I'm joking, I'm joking.

I know everyone else has a life. :)
Add a Comment: